Taking the Tests

When I was younger, I thought I was apart from the world I know - that I am not this or that kind of person, or that I am only this and that kind of person. But life is also like a test, you wouldn't really know if you passed or failed if you haven't taken the test yet. So for example you've never been in the kind of shit another person is in, think twice before you say something bad about it (",) You just might be doing no better than he/she is if that were you. Because things are easier said than done. And also, having said that life is a test, you know what the good thing is? that what really matters is not if you failed or if you passed but what you learned from it.

I'm not trying to lecture anybody - sorry if I sound like it. I am definitely no master in life's many tests either. I just wanted to share this thought so maybe we'd remember to always think twice before we judge not only people but the many complicated situations of life.
Because we have to admit it, each of us is a cast in the story called life, but each of us are also an audience to somebody else's life whether it be coincidental, momentarily or even accidental - it is inevitable that we'd have something to say about someone else and more often, a flaw is more easily acknowledged than beauty.

Giving Chances

This year God showed me that first impressions are nothing but hardened dust. Until you learn to wipe them away in order to see closer, you get stuck with seeing just dirt. I am not a saint. I don't end up liking everyone I meet instantly, I think that is normal anyway. What I'm saying is I learned that just because you started out not liking someone doesn't mean it's a dead end. Whenever is the right time, you have to at least make a sincere effort to give people chances even when you don't feel like they deserve it. Maybe its not about who you're giving a chance to, but what you are giving a chance to. Give friendship a chance.

You Know Me ...Not

Its amazing how some people would assume they know you based on what they imagine you to be...dont feel bad because of what they think of you ♥ ♥ everyone gets misunderstood ♥ ♥ bec we are all somebody else's imagination♥ ♥ unless they become lucky enough to really get to know us. (",) so don't hate. let it be. Some people were never meant to get close enough to know us. ♥ ♥ Cherry December!!! ♥ ♥Its about time we do something more than tell ourselves "I am misunderstood"

LoVE MaTTERS

We start out believing nothing on heaven or on earth could put it out. Love.

When I was younger, Love was an attraction, a feeling- a passion which cannot be tamed. As I grew up love became a matter of happiness and heartaches.
In the end, Love was a matter of choice and everyday decision..But now i realize it is so much more than that. Sure we can convince ourselves that the time we stayed together is proof of super duper commitment and undying love whatsoever and all couples should feel content already to know they are together. B.S.

B.S. ~~~NEVER BE CONTENTED.

I don't expect the world to agree.
But what I'm saying is sometimes people get too contented and confident,that they don't notice if they have stopped loving each other. And the next thing you know, someone is being taken for granted, neglected and even unconsciously avoided. And the sad part is they waste not only time itself but the time they count together. I mean what is seven, eight, nine, ten years when you stopped loving each other by year 4. What are numbers... but only numbers in the end.

When you stop at any point, its like you create a bubble, which can eventually stop your heart from beating.

At this point, one of you will want to let go. And then comes 'chances' to make it up. Love is chances as well. Its the many chances we are given to keep what might no longer be there but could still be there or to save what could be left of something which used to overflow but is now just a drying-up-stain on the ground.

If you just want to stay together forever. Yeah-sure be contented- you could just go to prison together with a life sentence to make it fun. But If you want to love forever- never be contented, - always keep the fire burning.

Cheers to those who have stayed crazy in love through decades.
Warning to those who are struggling to make it a decade.
A sign to those who know what I'm talking about.
A note to those who plan on staying together one more day.

YAMAN SA SOBRE

I was on a jeepney ride home for lunch. I was still somewhere along Q.C when this man placed an enveloped on my lap. I didn’t look at him; I said God is consistent today. :) I took a twenty peso-bill and gave it to him (and that’s when I looked at him) and asked nicely If I could keep the envelope. He didn’t seem to mind. I wanted to take a photo of it and post it on my blog. And so here it is:

I wondered how old he was, and if he was doing this part-time, full-time, just now or ever since. I thought he could get a job instead of being a beggar like this. I shouldn’t have given him money but then I thought how many businesses hire beggars from the street? Businesses want background, want requirements, and want employees with a permanent address at least. How many job opening welcomes homeless people and beggars? I should give this guy a break. Life is tough enough for people like him. I know every one on the jeep was thinking he was some lazy bum that’s why they didn’t give him any money; I know I did think that too, I just thought he needed a break except a while later I learned that maybe yes, next time I should hold back.

Not a few minutes after, another envelope fell on my lap, handed by a boy no more than 5 years old. I opened my wallet and thought maybe I should just give him coins, but felt that I shouldn’t give him less just because he was younger.So I did the same thing; I gave him the money and asked if I could keep the envelope. He didn’t answer, he just looked at me and then I smiled and folded it into my bag. MY MISTAKE. Now his mother was sitting by the entrance of the jeepney ride watching what happened. I made the words out carefully since I was all the way inside the jeepney and she was sitting by the entrance, tapping cans she turned into musical drums. As I was about to alight,She demanded “AKIN NA ANG SOBRE!!!” Stunned I smiled and said “ bawal hingiin?”to which she again demanded “AKIN NA ANG SOBRE!!!” (Baka mangkumpitensya pa kasi ata ako?)

Hahaha. Now at least I got to experience a different kind of reaction right? (“,) ~masyado na ata kasi akong komportable~

The Wrong Move and The Right Pocket.

God. He heard me alright.(",) Today he sent one kid and one very old desperate guy holding a zerox copy of what looked like an outdated doctor's prescription note begging for whatever amount.

I was still feeling down. I just got off from taking a 30-minute quiz at school and as we were passing by a fast food drive-thru and we were shouting our orders at the radio box. A boy started playing with the box, whispering whatever to the box and confusing our orders. He caught my attention alright. I watched him playing with the box, wondering if this kid was just simply doing that to annoy or harass us or maybe he was simply playing. And maybe hearing a voice coming out of the box fascinated him. Who knows. I decided it could be a something in between both. I pulled a ten-peso coin and had Ryan gave it to him. I realized right after if maybe that wasn't such a good idea in that case, but it has been done. I wondered what he would do with the coin as he stared at it for a while. He didn't look like he would use it to buy cigarettes though or some rugby. I wished in my mind, he'd give it to his mom or just spend it on candy. I made a mistake. He didn't leave as well, he continued playing with the radio box.

I realized I could have given him an idea to beg. Maybe that could give him the wrong idea about playing with drive-thru radio boxes. I don't know. Anyways, I realized something else. Helping is not just about handing out something from my pocket.Maybe at that time I should have just said" Kid dont play with that, cars go by here and you could get hit or maybe get hurt " but I didn't, instead I gave him a ten-peso coin. I am a witch. I suck. I learned a lesson today. And maybe God told me something. Except for the witch and suck part, I am totally saying that to myself.

Then when we got home and got the car parked, Ryan opened his car door and immediately this old man holding this prescription drug photocopy asked us for some change. I didn't see his face as i was on the passenger's seat. I just saw his wrinkly hands, shabby clothes and the paper he was holding. I quickly asked myself. What would I do now? I told myself I'll do what I can. I have to give this old man the benefit of the doubt, that maybe the racket he was pulling was fake but the reasons he was doing it for wasn't. He needed help and I was there. I opened my coin purse and pulled out a twenty-peso bill. I thought about digging for coins but the coins for some reason, seemed stuck in the little corner of the purse and so I realized that maybe this was what I was supposed to give him. I don't have time to ask if my heart was willing. It didn't seem to be against it anyway. So I said, Give this to him, it's fate. or Destiny. Or Chance. That i just turned into fate. (",)

I don't know maybe I could all just be making this up. I'm no righteous person. I just realized that maybe fate doesn't just refer to what you become, what career you end up having, what kind of life you end up living or who you end up loving. Fate, Destiny, Chances are every moment of our lives, every small detail in it and every person we meet and every thing we do. This old guy is in mine. For that brief moment. I hope I did good by him.

Rain, Children, Noodles and You

Yesterday was kind of shitty. I stayed home today. I'm a mess. I stayed home and watched 'Wedding Daze' and thought i should catch some lost sleep. Studies say that when you aren't getting enough needed sleep, it makes you well in some cases, any of the following or all of the following: cranky, sensitive, emotional, crazy. I don't know which one to pick but I'm crossing my fingers its not all of the following.

Anyways, aside from that I think I may have done some good even so. Hopefully.

It was raining yesterday. My group mates and I sort of braved the rain and feasted on street food (isaw, etc). My uniform was getting wet despite of the efforts of a borrowed umbrella. My skin was starting to feel cold. And then I noticed these two kids right beside the isaw-vendor. They were selling noodles. Kids selling noodles in the rain. The other day, i told myself that someday I want to help make the world a better place every day. And i started thinking, why not. Why not start that day? Yeah. Maybe I'm not Mother Theresa. Yeah. Maybe I'm not capable of donating millions, not capable of making this big tidal wave over these children's lives for example, but I knew what I can do. At least.

I walked over and asked how much is an order of noodles. This kid said 17 pesos, so I said I'll order one and paid for it. When he was about to give me my order,I said he can keep it. I just ordered, I said. I don't know, he seemed confused. (",) I thought about what he could be thinking: "did this lady stole a plastic of noodles from us earlier when we were'nt looking and now she's paying for it?" I don't know. I didn't mind. I wanted to do it, that's all.

I am not saying this here so that I could claim to the world that I have a golden heart, that I did a good deed. Let's scrap that. I am no better than anybody in this planet. A good deed is a category or a label you want to name what you did, and I would rather want to think, what I did was pure and simple 'help', we can consider that a label for doing something else for someone regardless of yourself. I am not sure I said that right but i hope you got the point. I just dont want anybody who could be reading this to focus on the wrong details.

Golden heart. I dont have that( I am not trying to be humble, believe me, we don't need golden hearts to help once in a while) . 17 pesos is not a big deal. Anyone could have done that and that is just the point. Any of us could do it, if we just take the time. I think these kids earned it. While some of us maybe quick to think that these kids are being ran by syndicates, or being pushed to work by their lazy parents, for all we know, they could just really have no choice but we won't understand that deep since we are not in their shoes. When I was a kid, I played in the rain. These children are working in the rain.

Whether or not we stop by to care, all the things around them will change their lives forever. I want to do what I can given the moment. I think Any of us can too.